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The Gas Gauge

I was driving down the road the other day when a light went on. Not in my head, it was on the dashboard. Looked like a little gas pump. So I did what any reasonable person would do, I turned the radio up louder. The light still didn't go off and I was stumped.

I was so focused on making the light turn off that I missed the root of the problem. I was out of gas! The light wasn't the problem. It was just an alarm that said "Hey dummy, slow down, pull over you're outta gas!"

Stress is like that light. It isn't the source of the problem. Although the ulcers, tightness in the chest and aching back might be uncomfortable, they aren't the root of the problem. They are just an alarm that says "Hey moron, slow down you're killing yourself!"

We take all kinds of pills and visit many doctors trying to make those symptoms go away without stopping to consider the root of the problem. When you have symptoms such as tightness in your chest or heartburn you may need to look beyond your torso. Of course you should get cleared medically first. But if that is all you do it is equivalent to putting duct tape over your dash board when the gas gauge light turns on. This is the "If I can't see it, I won't have to deal with it" style of thinking.

Instead, what if you look through your heartburn and address the issues in your life? Look at your relationships, family time and communication style. Are the Rolaids a cure for emptiness in your marriage? Do you take Tums instead of slowing down and enjoying life? Is the pain in your chest really from an inability to express your feelings in words? Often the answers are so simple that we don't want to hear them.

Stress management is not that difficult. It involves eating right, getting enough sleep and aerobic exercise- things we have been hearing since we were kids. We didn't listen then and we don't listen now. Because we are looking for a bigger, better, brighter answer. We think we should have to pay lots of money for a stress solution or weight loss plan. There's got to be an innovative way to cram more into the day or to burn fat without actually getting up off of the couch.

Time management, communication skills, listening without judging. What do these have to do with heartburn? Everything if the root of your heartache is in your empty life. Not happy with your spouse, your kids, your life or your waistline? Do something innovative and start taking care of yourself.

Get enough sleep. Turn the tv off and talk with your family instead. Sit down together and eat meals slowly. Appreciate the simple things in life. Take time to breathe. Take lessons from your kids and your dog: time equals love; I could buy my dog the most expensive toy at Petsmart but more than anything, she just wants my time and energy. Why do we wait until our lives are upside down to sort out what is really important?

The next time your stress alarm flashes turn it off. And then go after the root of the problem. Or, knowing that your low fuel alarm will light up eventually, you could take steps to keep your tank full. Recognize the signs of stress in your body and take steps to defeat it. The stressors you encounter will not change, but you are in charge of how you react to them.

Det. Lisa Flahive, PEAP