PLEASE LISTEN

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice,

you have not done what I asked nor heard what I said.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me

that I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me, and you feel that you have to do something

to solve my problems, you have failed me – strange as that may seem.

Listen please!

All I asked was that you listen. Not talk nor "do" – just hear me.

Advice is cheap. A quarter gets both "Dear Abbey" and astrological

forecasts in the same newspaper. That I can do for myself.

I’m not helpless, maybe discouraged and faltering – but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,

you contribute to me seeming fearful and weak.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,

no matter how seemingly irrational, then I quit trying to convince

you and get around to understanding what’s behind what I am

saying and doing – to what I am feeling.

When that’s clear, chances are so will the answers be,

and I won’t need any advice. (Or then I’ll be able to hear it!)

So, please listen and just hear me.

And if you want to talk, let’s plan for your turn,

and I promise I’ll listen to you.